Customer Reviews
Not that funny and not that scary. - By: R. Mullaney, 12 Nov 2008 
Small time crook David (Andy 'Gollum' Serkis) & Peter (Reece 'The League of Gentlemen' Shearsmith) kidnap the feisty Tracey (Jennifer Ellison) to hold her gangster father to ransom for £100,000. Unfortunately the cottage where they choose to hide out is the stalking ground of a lumpy headed maniac.
Hmmm. A bit of a strange one this. Neither full on comedy or full on horror, 'The Cottage' doesn't deliver that many laughs or indeed that many scares. I was expecting some of the macabre comic genius of 'The League of Gentleman' with some of the frights of 'An American Werewolf In London' but was let down on both counts. Whilst Serkis is fairly good as one exasperated kidnapper, Shearsmith is a little wooden as the other & I know Jennifer Ellison is supposed to be playing the common as muck daughter of a scally gangster but hearing the C word coming from a womans mouth still makes me wince a bit, & she says it a LOT. The dialogue is pretty horriblein places with way too much unnecessary profanity & that's before the unscary psycho makes an appearance. Having spent such a fortune on gore, you'd think the production team may have bought a slightly more convincing halloween mask for the killer to wear. There are some good bits but 'The Cottage is more miss than hit.
Like this? Try: Severance
Lovely little film! - By: M. Western, 25 Oct 2008 
The past few years have seen a wave of comedy horrors hitting the big screen rather than the bottom corner of a rental stores shelves, this installment is by a previously critically acclaimed director & stars a couple of familiar faces from England's comedy scene, as well as Jennifer Ellison (whom i assure you isn't as annoying as you may expect).
As with most of the recent comedy horrors the humorin this film is very subtle & doesn't comein the form of your Friends style by-the-numbers one liners. Leaving the film's comedy factor revolving mainly around the more grisly side of dark & black comedy. This is made easy by the excellent choicein casting, leading infamous black comedy actorsin the cast's midsts.
Although its not extravagantly clear, the film was sot under a very low budget. This doesn't effect the movie too much as very little is usedin the making of this film; the cast is minimal, using 6 protagonists MAX & a few extras. The setting is, obviously, narrowed down to a couple of cottages & a field, so the budget can't of been effected too dramatically there either.
One thing i did notice about this film is that not much happened throughout the film. If that seems a little too brief for a proper concept then you could compare it to such films as Fargo, where a feature length flick holds, what seems to be, very few events or is really a microcosm of the level that most other films are at. Yet this doesn't down the film at all, another point i have to make about this film is that, as we've seen from this directorin the past, the audience is left ti decide on what the film's background is actually about. The Cottage is an unmistakeably British film, not following the American rules on making a films story so obvious that its planned outin front of youin the most gaumless way possible.
Yet i give the film 3 stars?
Well really at the end of the day what we have here is a brilliant & entertaining film that was knock-out when i watched it at the cinema & didn't dissapoint, Yet just one of those films that wouldn't work as well the second time round. Along with the fact that, as well as this is a great little film, it just seems to have reached its terminal & its terminal simply couldn't have got much higher.
As a lifetime collector of films &in particular the horror genre of the cinema world, i would reccomend this to anyone who's interestedin horror films,in particular british horror, & those who have took an interestin the recent comedy-horror wave.
Enjoy!
Severance in the UK - By: R. Griffiths, 11 Sep 2008 
Whilst not as good as Severance, The Cottage is an enjoyable & amusing rompin a similar style. Andy Serkis & his brother play off eachother well & Jennifer Ellison has to be everybody's idea of the kidnap victim you actually give back within five minutes. Personally I was absolutely delighted when she went too far with the one person you should actually be running rather quickly away from. I genuinely got a shock when pseudo-Leatherface turned up, not expecting something so entertaining to have quite such an unpleasant looking protaganist. A cover where the head isin the bucket sets the scene. You can't say you don't know what you're getting.
Complete waste of time - By: AnnieDee, 09 Sep 2008 
I'm sorry but I can't give this film more than one star. Fortunately I borrowed this off a friend because if I'd have paid for it I would have been well cheesed off. Its rubbish. There are a couple of funny moments during the first part of the film with the bungled kidnapping but quite frankly its not worth spending your time watching it.
Very Ordinary - By: Paul Holland, 06 Sep 2008 Comedy horror that manages to be neither particularly funny & not very frightening. The simple plot involves two incompetant brothers kidnapping the daughter of a local crime boss & then stumbling onto the farm of a texas chainsaw type serial killer.
The performances from the two leads & the bickering between them provide some humour that just raises this film to 2 star status.
Otherwise it's predictable fair, no twists, poor plot & gloomily shot.
